I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
