I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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