do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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