either way he was missing a nipple.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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