all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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