Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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