you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dignity is for republicans.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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