he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
