she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
