if you like me you must not know who I am
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
