there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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