Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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