I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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