South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I love you. Go after that dick
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
