I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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