just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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