By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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