Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
