I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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