He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
