hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
