are you still at the devil's house?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
