yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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