wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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