You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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