apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
