the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
