We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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