? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
