Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
