Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
false alarm, still single
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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