it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
