Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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