I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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