Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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