i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it