She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
