you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
