I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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