do herpes really smell.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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