I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
