Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
