Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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