Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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