Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
