addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
