I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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