You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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