you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
