I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Enjoy the penises
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize