i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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