forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
