How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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