i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
