We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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