I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
