According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
