My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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