I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
