All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.