"it" just moved
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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