I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.