so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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