i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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