turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
