I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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